Ana was truly special. She not only had the gifts of music and friendship, but a talent for making people feel loved no matter what. You couldn't be angry or spiteful around her. You couldn't hate anything or any one. She had the ability to cheer people up just by talking...she'd take your mind off whatever it was that was bothering you, and when you finally went back to thinking about it, it didn't seem to be so bad. Nothing seemed bad. Maybe that's why when I think about her it doesn't seem so terrible. She's not dead. Not in my heart or my soul or the hearts and souls of any of the people who knew her. I read at her memorial service. I don't have the speech anymore because i sent it to her father, but I remember saying that "We aren't here to cry over the deaths of those we've lost, but rather to remember what we've gained from knowing them." That's how it was with Ana. That's how it's always going to be.
Right now I'm not sure what to say. I'm putting up many pictures of her when she was younger soon, but i'm not sure what to do now. I've just been thinking of her so much. It's hard not to with all that's happening...The shootings in Colorado and Canada. The genocide in Kosovo. These are all things we would have talked about together - things we would have protested from our corners of the nation. Maybe that's why I'm missing her so much now. At any rate, if you want to add your story write me. I'll add it on. Thanks for visiting. We all miss Ana and Constance. This is just how I say it. None of us should ever forget what happened to Ana, but moreover we shouldn't forget what she's done for us - what her kindness and good heart and just general cheerfulness brought us. How she added to our lives. How we added to hers. I believe you live a full life if you are happy when you die. Ana was always happy. Granted there were many things she could have and would have done if she'd lived longer, but she was incredible for all twelve years, nine months and twenty three days. We miss you.
Ashley was telling me about the Tori concert when we first met. Andrea had written a letter to Tori Amos asking if, during her Binghamton concert she would sing "Daniel" in remembrance of Ana, and she did. Ashley wasn't there, but he saw her in Albert hall last year (1998) and got to talk to her. It's all on his website under music I think. She signed his ticket "To a friend of Ana's." People are like that. They do something and you are touched forever. It makes you think.